It
was a crisp late October day. Cross Country practice had gotten out early that
day so Steven, Joe and I were down in Stephen's Gorge. Stephen and I were
sitting in the cave while Joe was rummaging through his junk yard.
"Its
a tit nippely out today, isn't it?" remarked Steven.
"Sure
is," I said looking up at the large hole in the ceiling of the cave that
the zombie Brian had made last spring.
Just
then Joe entered the cave holding an obnoxiously bright neon yellow jacket. I
jumped up and fell out of my chair in horror.
"Do
you know where that jackets been?!?" I said.
"What?
I found it in junk yard with some other crap," said Joe.
"That
looks like that fag Brian Douglas's jacket. What ever happened to him?"
asked Steven. I hadn't told anyone about my two battles with Brian. Everyone
just figured he had gone off to another school.
"I
don't know what happened to him but I'm freezing," said Joe as he put on
the jacket.
"I
wouldn't do that if I were you Joe..." I warned.
"Its
just a piece of neon yellow, it looks warm," protested Joe. As soon as Joe
zipped up the jacket he let out a bloodcurdling scream and fell to the ground
in spasms.
"What
the hells wrong with you," shouted Steven. Suddenly Joe stopped moving and
then slowly stood up. In a high pitched, nasal voice Joe looked up into the sky
and moaned, "ohhh myyyy."
"My
God Joe, that was the best damn Brian Douglas impersonation I've ever
heard", I said.
Joe
then looked at us with a seductive look and said with that same high nasal
voice, "I am not Joe, I am Brian. Now DR, I will finally have your assss,
ohhh myyyy, ha ha ha!"
"That
oh my crap was old a year ago Joe," said Stephen. "Take off that damn
jacket and lets go inside."
"Not
until I have both your assessss, ohhh myyyy," said Joe as he lunged toward
me. Joe tried to push me down into getting to know me better position. But I
put him in a half nelson as Steven helped hold him down.
"We've
got to take off this jacket!" I exclaimed. But as I grabbed the zipper my
hand was burned. I now realized that the jacket had an evil fag magic about it.
Joe had been possessed by the spirit of Brian. I ran into the gorge to get some
rope while Steven continued to hold Joe down. After the possessed Joe was well bound
up in the cave, we tried to think of what to do.
While
we were pondering we heard a loud crunching of leaves coming from the woods
outside.
"Who
goes there!" called Steven.
"It
is I, Alden, and I bring good tidings. I was just talking to Mr. Greiveldinger
and he said..."
"Who
cares!" I said. "We've got a real problem with Joe down here."
After
I explained both tales of Brian, Alden suggested we go find that book and see
if it has any spells for removing possession.
During
this time, Joe kept moaning, "ohhh myyyy, I want all of your assessss,
ohhh myyyy." After a good deal of searching we finally found that old
spell book.
"Lets
see," began Alden, "to remove a fag possession, pg.11."
We
rushed back to the cave only to discover Joe had escaped.
"I
told you that you should have let me tie those knots!" I shouted at
Stephen. Just then we heard a scream come from the track. We rushed up there to
see Joe moaning oh my with OJ pinned down on the ground in between Joe's legs.
Alden
rushed forth with the book and shouted, "bing bong bing buh ding!"
Joe fell over screaming as the jacket unzipped itself, flew into the air and
burst into flames.
As
the jacket was burning there in mid air, the voice of Brian boomed forth from
the sky, "You haven't seen the last of me! Ohhh Myyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!"
The flame then disappeared and there was no sign of the jacket.
"Woe!
How did I get up here?" asked Joe bewildered.
"Its
a long story," said Steven.
We
walked towards Paschal explaining every thing to Joe when I noticed OJ was
still standing there looking up into the sky.
"What
are you looking at?" I asked.
"Brian
is my God," said OJ solemnly.
"Oh
damn," I thought. "This might start something."
THE END
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