The Attack of the 300 Foot Adrian

It had been a year since Brian destroyed the school. Every building had been leveled resulting in milions of dollars of damage. A good 3/4 of the Ryken student body had perished and dozens of troops were also slaughtered. The pilots who dropped the a-bomb on Brian didn't realize that the bomb was labeled "best before Aug 1959." So the bomb was only powerful enough to blow Brian's head off.

I sat in the gym of the new Paschal Hall as the opening ceremony was about to begin. There were only about 150 students left so Paschal was the only building needed. Mr. Wood(who had cowardly fled the school at first sight of Brian)stood up to the microphone gave a speech about all the many financial donations. He then put forth some wrestling propoganda, even though the team was extinct.

After this the quire(minus Brian)began to sing a perverted song about being nailed to a tree and being pierced in the side and laid in a tomb. My head began to nod as I slowly fell asleep when suddenly a voice even louder than that of the giant Brian rang out from out side: "Repent all of you or else I will report your insubordination to a school faculty member!"

Every one stopped what they were doing and looked out the windows in shock as a humongous face covered with greasy acne peered in through the windows. It was Adrian, but now she was 300 feet tall. I quickly rushed out one of the doors and kept going till I was in the sanctuary of the cave. From there I watched the horrific events that unfolded.

Adrian was squating next to the gym like it was one of her doll houses. She smashed one of her huge hands in through the windows and then drew it back holding Edward.

"You would never give into my seduction!" she screamed at Edward. Adrian tossed Edward over her shoulder in rage. He was miracuously saved by landing in the back of a truck filled with soft manuer.

Adrian then stood up with a psychotic expression of glee. She took off her gigantic book bag that was almost as big as her. Adrian held the bag over the roof of Paschal and dropped it. The whole gym was crushed beneath it. She sat down, slapped her knee, and let out an ear spliting cackle.

All this time I had been wondering why no cops or militia had showed up yet. Then I noticed that Adrian had cleverly uprooted every telephone pole connected to the campus. I realized now that it was up to me to stop Adrian.

Adrian was now quite bored so she started to count the numbers of various groups of objects. With her distracted, I stealthily crept towards the rubble of Paschal. After some searching, I found the corpse of Lenny Russo under a pile of bricks. Right next to him was a lap top computer that was already hooked up with his e-mail. I quickly sent an e-mail to the local National Gaurd. I told them that yet another giant outcast was destroying the school.

As I was creeping back down the heap of rubble, I stumbled and caused a small avalanche of bricks. Adrian leapt up startled and screamed out, "This disobedience is unacceptable. Either die now or prepare to be squashed." It was then that she saw me.

I sprinted back towards the cave faster than I ever had in any race. Yet Adrian was already on top of me. She reached down and picked me up like I was a small action figure. Adrian held me right up close to her face. It was truly terrifying. Each one of her greasy zits were about the size of a tire. She held me with both hands like she was going to tear me in two.

Suddenly a huge hand grabbed Adrian's shoulder and a thunderous but retarded voice said,"Put DR down!" It was a 369 foot Shaun! Adrian dropped me(I was saved by landing on the pole vaulting mat) as Shaun dealt her a sloppy karate kick. Adrian let out a vicious growl, bearing her teeth as she leapt for shaun's neck. Shaun began slapping and scratching Adrian as she beat him with her book bag. This collosul battle continued until Shaun finally grabbed Adrian's neck and strangled her to death.

Shaun wiped some blood away from his Yoda like face and said "All in a days work DR."

"Yep Shaun," I called up. "You saved the day." But just as we were resting from the fight, the deafining noise of helicopters resounded in the distance. Dozens of Appatchi war helicopters suddenly came into view as they circled Shaun and realesed a barage of rockets and high powered machine fire. I rushed out into the open, waving my arms and screaming "No! Not him!" But it was in vain.

Shaun let out one last moan "aaawoooohhhhh," and was blown apart by a missle from a passing jet. Adrian, who had aparently been dead, leapt up, grabbed her book bag and swatted the helicopters with it.

A familiar sound then came from above. It was the Enola Gay again. "In 1945," proclaimed Adrian. "The USA dropped atomic bombs on the Jappenese citties of Hiroshima and Naga...argh!"

THE END